Ghost Self

Midnight at Balevullin (or Bail’ a’ Mhuilinn) beach on the Isle of Tiree. Tripod and camera set to shoot a 60 sec exposure.
I walked into the frame, stood still for about 12 secs and then walked out again. This was the result.

self 5

self portrait number 1

Pentax K20D, sepia tint/distress

I shot this on a day when I was deep in a funk. I am sat staring out of the bedroom window as if trying to find an a voice to give to the darkness that dwelled inside of me. I thought that trying to capture my mood would prove cathartic in some way. At the least it would enable me to see myself differently. As I sat, a Rumi poem came to mind. The poem is added below.


Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace
to gather us up.

We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.
If we say we can, we’re lying.
If we say No, we don’t see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto spirit.

So let us rather not be sure of anything,
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.

(Rumi, 13th century Persian poet and mystic)